wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
