Are we in a gay sports bar?
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize