so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
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