my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize