you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
