what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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