Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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