so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
