I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
