Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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