Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
