What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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