yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
