yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Randomize
