when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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