think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
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