I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
