He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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