Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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