Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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