found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
