So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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