just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Green mimosas i think yes
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
