Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
You need Xanax blowdarts
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
