Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
