I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
