I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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