my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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