Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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