Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
