Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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