two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
