..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
