eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
