nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
