..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
