I wish life had little blips of pornography
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
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