Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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