ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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