Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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