You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
