just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
