So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Randomize
