He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
