theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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