everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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