Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Randomize
