someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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