Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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