I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
