i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
