i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I'm just crazy horny about you
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize