you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Randomize
