Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
