Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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