Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
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