we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I said "one day" and that day is not today
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize