Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Randomize
