It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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