I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
