just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
