just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
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