I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
