I don't usually arrange sex via text message
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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