not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
