I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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