yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize