Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
