ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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