I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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