the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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