Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
