The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
porn star boner night. come get it.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
