If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
