i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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