It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
