dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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